So along the lines of growing up, I was taught, or better yet programmed, that our partners can “read in between the lines”. Now I don’t know where I got this, who taught me and why I continued to believe this until about a year ago. But THIS IS NOT OK.
Back in my past relationships I never wanted to talk about how I felt or why I felt it. I would give a slight suggestion to appeal the other sex party hoping they really knew what I meant. So I’m sure we’ve all heard the typical “man I’m so cold, I wish I had a Sweater”. Now what you really mean is “I want to wear your sweater….” for years we’ve have been doing this. And quite frankly, you need to STOP! It’s out right annoying and stupidly passive.
Not til recently from dating, did I learn that telling someone “exactly” how you feel is actually really important and even if they give you an answer that doesn’t give your ears a desired sound, that’s also okay. So most times we are passive because we don’t wanna be rejected or feel stupid for having feelings more then the person your wanting. Some may even think that when rejected, that person “wasted there time” when in reality, if you would have asked that person what there intentions were, I’m 100% they probably would tell you.
Communicating is about as blunt as blunt can be. Some conversations can be a little nerve wrecking and other may be topics that y’all haven’t hit in the relationship, but assuming and misunderstanding can lead to some major issues. I’m not a councilor but in my past, misinterpreting someone over a text is quite common so the 21st century. Not a days we all have social media, this is where the “communicating” gets messier than ever. So basics of dating is to get to know someone and conveniently we have phones so we can text that person all day long and ask 21 questions til we “figure them out”. But this is also where we mess up. Now you can’t take a phone on a date…so why try to know someone on one too..???? Communicating needs to crack back face to face and not phone to phone. Facial expressions and tones play a big part in talking to someone and you get neither in a text. Now you wanna be a smart ass and say “well we have emojis”, please don’t start… because I’m sure when you got a pissed off woman, all you get is ten paragraphs and a bunch of misspelled words from anger.
It’s so simple but stop being passive and start telling other how you feel and what you want. Get a raise and push for better, tell your family things you’ve always wanted too. Honestly communications go further then relationships but in every case, and we’ve all need to loosen up the “pride” and start building confidence to be rejected if needed and not scared of no just because we’re too scared to share our true feelings about a topic. Stop pleasing others and tell people what’s going on! 👌🏽👌🏽